


'My Sun'

by imimmortalagain



Series: you cooled my mind that burned with longing - Sappho fragment 48 [12]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Cute, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24813331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imimmortalagain/pseuds/imimmortalagain
Summary: “Where does it come from, ‘my sun’, I mean?”
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Series: you cooled my mind that burned with longing - Sappho fragment 48 [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718578
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	'My Sun'

**Author's Note:**

  * For [freefallvertigo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/freefallvertigo/gifts).



> hehe, im sorry i forgot abt this

“Where does it come from, ‘my sun’, I mean?”

“There’s an ancient myth that floats ‘round Gallifrey ‘bout the Kasterborous star system. It’s a binary star system, so Gallifrey has two suns, Kasterborous Gamma A and Kasterborous Gamma B, that’s what we call ‘em now, they used to be just Kaster and then Borous.

“Kaster and Borous were two souls melded into one, to form one star.”

_ “Doctor.” Yaz’s voice was so soft and the Doctor wanted to wrap herself up in that comfort. Wanted to dance in it.  _

_ Their eyes were locked on each other, had been for a minute now. They always seemed to find themselves like this, stuck in a moment while electricity brimmed between them. “Yaz.” Her voice barely caressed the air around them.  _

_ The moment seemed to melt around them, they seemed to melt together, until lips were sliding against lips. The Doctor’s hands found a home behind Yaz’s neck and Yaz’s on the Doctor’s cheeks. The brushing of graceful, longing, silken lips. Careful and tender and… beautiful.  _

{}

“They burned beautifully but Kaster feared what was to come should they stick together. Kaster worried that they would collapse into ruin and decided to pull away from Borous.”

_ T _ _ he Doctor loved the taste of Yaz’s soft lips against hers. Longed for it since day one. How many days had she longed for this? How many days had she longed, wanted, desired, burned for Yaz? Seven hundred forty-two. Seven hundred forty-two days worth of pure need to be expressed in the space between two kissing lips.  _

_ How many days did they have left? _

_ The thought slowed the Doctor’s lips, pulled her from the moment. Her gut twisted into some awful shape, those words puddling like acid in her hearts, on her tongue. _

_ How many days left until the end? _

_ The end. _

_ Their end. _

_ The end to whatever brilliant thing they were starting in that moment. _

_ The end. _

_ The Doctor dropped her hands from Yaz’s neck and pressed a cautious palm to her chest, slowly pushing her away until they were staring eye to eye, hazel to brown, soul to soul. _

{}

“It wasn’t long before Kaster yearned for Borous, missing them with every increasing second.”

_ The Doctor sat deep in the guts of the TARDIS, it had been almost a month since the kiss, almost a month since they had honest open conversation, and two days since the Doctor had last seen Yaz.  _

_ But it didn’t matter. She wasn’t thinking about it. _

_ Her tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth as she connected two cables together. It sparked and fizzled before the panels they connected to turned on once more. She sighed and wiped the sweat from her forehead before leaning back onto her heels. _

_ She smiled at the running machine and stretched her neck out to the left, working out a particularly stubborn muscle. Some fabric draped over the nearest flight of stairs made itself known in her periphery and the Doctor turned to study it.  _

_ It was Yaz’s leather jacket. _

_ “What the-” Her voice was light. She jumped up and stormed after the jacket. She picked it up and eyed the amber column in the middle of the room. “Really?” _

_ “I know I do. But what about the end?” _

_ “You’re gonna quote me now? That’s rich. That’s selective listenin’, choosing to hear me when it benefits you but not when I’m steerin’ you?”  _

_ “Fine, sure, I love her-” _

_ “There’s so much more to it than-” _

_ “I’m gonna stop listenin’ if you don’t let me finish.” _

_ “I’m not a liar!”  _

_ “I’m not gonna say it.”  _

_ “Fine. Yes, I meant it. Yes, why be happy now if I’ll just be a ruined mess later, ‘cause I’ll be sad later. Fine.” _

_ “I am listenin’ to you.” _

_ The Doctor stormed out of the room. She spent… she wasn’t sure how long, tracing a path throughout the TARDIS before she had cooled off and found herself in the control room. The leather jacket never left her fingers. _

_ She leaned against a column, the knowing hum of the TARDIS less aggressive now that she had time to think and more encouraging, supportive. _

_ “You’re right.” She sighed, eyeing the column at the center of it all, collapsing against another one. “You’re right.”  _

{}

“Kaster chased Borous through the skies of Gallifrey, hoping to one day reunite with their true love. And one brilliant night, they did.”

_ The Doctor had sped throughout her TARDIS, unsure of where to find Yaz but she prayed that this magnificent, meddling time machine had decided to help her in the final stretch too. _

_ Her hearts hammered deafening beats against her ribcage in an effort to remind the Doctor that yeah, she was alive, she was doing this. In an effort to give the Doctor beats to pull Yaz into a dance with. She wanted to dance with her. _

_ Yaz was in the library, staring blankly at some book she didn’t have the heart to pay attention to. She barely noticed the Doctor as she approached her. Barely noticed her once the Doctor had collapsed to her knees before her upon the coach. _

_ “Yaz,” Her voice was barely there and worried, filled with nerves and apologies and want. _

_ “Yeah?”  _

_ “I’m sorry.” She wanted to keep the tears away but had failed miserably, her eyes already starting to sting and glass over. “So, so sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I shouldn’t have pushed you away. Kissing you wasn’t the mistake, okay, Yaz?” She needed her to understand her, believe her more than she needed oxygen, “It was never you. Yaz, please believe me, you don’t have to forgive me, but it was never you. The mistake was always me,” The tears started to trickle down her face, “Always me pushing you away and I love you and I am so sorry. I was scared and I took it out on you, gods, Yaz I’m so, so sorry.”  _

_ The Doctor wasn’t sure when Yaz had looked at her, wasn’t sure when the book had left her hands, wasn’t sure when those hands cupped the Doctor’s face, wasn’t sure when she had started talking. _

_ All she was sure of was what Yaz had said, “This past month has hurt, Doctor. So goddamn much. But,” She wiped away a tear from her cheeks, “You weren’t ready, I’m not upset at you for that. I don’t blame you for that. You needed time, I understand. I love you, Doctor.”  _

_ Their lips met for a second time. Enrapture filling the space of longing and love as lips softly brushed against one another, dampened by tears. _

{}

“They burned through the skies of Gallifrey, eternal lovers.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> t: @nonbinaryriotchild
> 
> THANK you so much for the read!!


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